


Mer and the Colonel

by Chocolatephysicist



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-22
Updated: 2011-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-19 16:42:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolatephysicist/pseuds/Chocolatephysicist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney McKay can’t lie. He really can’t. He’s lost entire fortunes playing poker because he can’t keep from giving himself away.</p><p>So when he lies and tells his sister that he and John Sheppard are involved--he and the very straight John Sheppard--you know things are going to go terribly, horribly wrong.</p><p>(Spoilers through 4.09, Miller's Crossing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mer and the Colonel

“Okay, okay, I admit it, I’m in love with him--happy now?” Rodney snapped, irritated as hell.

For a moment Jeannie remained silent, a huge grin plastered on her face as they walked in the park near her home.

Then she broke into a singsong of, “ _‘Mer and the colonel, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s--’_ ” just as if she were a kid again.

“What are you, twelve years old?” Rodney demanded, horrified somebody might hear her.

He looked toward where Sheppard was playing Frisbee not too far away with Jeannie’s five-year-old daughter, Madison--this was all Sheppard’s fault. Rodney had planned to bow out of the trip to spend Christmas with Jeannie and her family in Vancouver. He’d had quite enough already of Jeannie reminding him at every turn that he had gotten her kidnapped the month before, as well as of her griping about mechanical troubles with the car she had guilted him into buying for her afterward. He’d had his excuse ready to go--there was simply too much work to do on Atlantis; someone would blow the place up if he was gone. And then Sheppard had intervened. Jeannie had written to him, inviting him as well.

 _...I owe you so much for spearheading my rescue. If you don’t have any plans for Christmas, please come spend it with us. That way Mer won’t be able to back out on me like I know he’s planning to..._

They had arrived in Vancouver in an unseasonably warm December to discover that Rodney’s Aunt Marge had taken up residence in one of Jeannie and Kaleb’s two guest bedrooms for the duration of the holiday, forcing Rodney and Sheppard to share a room, and a bed, and making Rodney’s life a living hell even beyond that already accounted for by being trapped in the house with his little sister, his brother-in-law, and five-year-old niece while he suffered through the commercial trappings of a supposedly religious holiday.

Marge’s first act had been to poke him in the stomach with one scarlet-tipped forefinger and tell him, “You’re still a bit of a butterball, aren’t you, Meredith?” right where Sheppard could hear. Since then she had told every embarrassing story about him that she could recall, and she could recall all too many of them, having married Rodney’s father’s brother the year before Rodney was born. Whatever horrors in his life she didn’t remember, Jeannie was happy to supply, even down to the fact that he’d been stripped naked three times in his senior year and shoved into the girl’s locker room at school, as well as that he had been voted ‘Most Likely to Remain a Virgin For Life’ by his graduating school class, a revelation that had made him ponder afterwards the penalty for the murder of one’s little sister.

Jeannie was shaking her head now as they continued to walk--this entire ‘lets go for a walk in the park’ thing was something he didn’t get anyway. It was a total waste of time, except for the fact it at least got them away from Marge for a while.

“Being attracted to men as well as women at least widens the field--but why don’t you ever fall for someone you can actually have, Mer?”

Rodney watched Sheppard now as Sheppard made a show of catching the Frisbee Madison tossed to him, Sheppard grinning all the while, his dark hair even more tousled than usual as he tossed the Frisbee back to her.

“He does have that entire ‘he can’t possibly be gay’ thing going on, doesn’t he?” Rodney said, as much to himself as in response to what Jeannie had said. He kept his eyes on Sheppard--god, the man was gorgeous, all sweaty and tousled and...

Jeannie laughed. “Not really--I can’t imagine him restricting all that to half the human race alone.”

And, oh, boy, did that hit home.

“I keep calling him Kirk,” Rodney observed, noting several women checking Sheppard out as they walked by. He gave them that killer smile as he tossed Madison the Frisbee again, the smile that Rodney was certain had women immediately ready to get naked and fall into bed with him.

“Gay, straight, or bi, you wouldn’t have much of a shot with him either way, Mer.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rodney asked, looking over at her.

“Well, even if he preferred men exclusively,” Jeannie was saying, “you’re--” her words trailed away.

Rodney stared at her. “I’m what?” He had a bad feeling about where this was going.

“Well, you’re--” for a moment she seemed to be searching for words, “--you,” she finally settled on, “and he’s--” she waved a hand in the air, looking up at him.

At last she seemed to just plunge ahead.

“He’s gorgeous, Mer. He could have anybody he wanted.”

“So you think he wouldn’t want me?” Rodney stopped and turned to stare at her. She stopped as well.

“I didn’t--” she began, staring over at him. Then she plunged ahead again. “Come on, Mer, you always fall for someone who wouldn’t give you the time of day. Even if Colonel Sheppard were gay and you were the last two people on Earth, he’d never--”

“That shows what you don’t know about my sex life,” Rodney snapped and started walking again--it was true; he had always fallen for people he couldn’t have, or who wouldn’t have him, but he would die before he ever admitted that to his little sister. The title he’d been voted by his graduating class of ‘Most Likely to Remain a Virgin for Life’ had turned out to be all too close to the truth, another fact that he would die before he admitted to anyone in the universe.

She caught up with him. “Come on, Mer, you don’t really think you’d have a chance at all at Colonel Sheppard?” The astonished incredulity in her voice was just too much.

“What makes you think we haven’t been sleeping together for months?” he demanded, stopping again to stare down at her.

“You’re not--” she said, her blue eyes fixed on his with utter disbelief.

“Maybe he says I’m the best he’s ever had,” he said--then started walking again before he gave himself away--he was a terrible liar, and he knew it. And this was one hell of a lie. One big hell of a lie. Not only was he not having sex with John Sheppard, he was pretty damned certain Sheppard was straight. Rodney had certainly never seen him show any interest in anyone who wasn’t female, after all.

Jeannie caught up with him again, hooking a hand around his upper arm to slow his pace. “You’re not having sex with Colonel Sheppard!?” she asked at an astounded whisper. Then after a moment, “Really?!”

He really was offended at how amazed she sounded. He just kept walking, figuring he’d let her live with the thought.

“Wow,” she said, sounding even more amazed. “Just--” her voice halted a moment, then she said, “wow.” She was still holding onto his arm, keeping up with him. “I would never have dreamed. You and-- It’s--” again her voice stopped, and she finally said, “wow.” She shook her head.

Her amazement was really, truly, irritating. She really didn’t think he had any chance at Sheppard.

Which he didn’t.

But that was beside the point.

“Wow--” she said again, and Rodney wanted to throttle her.

For a moment she was silent, walking beside him. “That does bring pictures to mind, Mer, that I’d really rather not think about--”

“Then don’t!” he squeaked out, horrified. He didn’t want his little sister picturing him and Sheppard--him and anyone--that was just--his sister picturing it--ewww.

And he and Sheppard had been sharing the single bed in her guestroom for the last five nights

“Listen--you can’t say a word about this to Sheppard or anyone else--and for God’s sake don’t say anything to Aunt Marge,” he said, needing very badly to change the subject, and to make certain she didn’t rat him out to Sheppard as the liar he was--Sheppard would kill him if he knew what Rodney had said about the two of them. At the very least, it would mean the end of Rodney being on his team. “Sheppard is American military. They have that entire ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ thing. It could cost him his career--just keep quiet about it, okay? Don’t mention it to him. He wouldn’t like that I said anything.”

Rodney fidgeted, then shoved his hands down in his pockets because he was suddenly uncertain what to do with them. He had a sudden, inexplicable urge to laugh--oh, God, he was really bad at this, the entire lying thing. It was no wonder he had lost several fortunes playing poker. At least he and Sheppard were leaving within an hour to catch a plane to Colorado Springs and the SGC, to make their way back to Atlantis over the intergalactic gate bridge. Jeannie wouldn’t have the time to find him out, or inadvertently tell Sheppard what Rodney had said. Rodney could later tell her they had gone through an ugly breakup. She’d never have to know the truth. And Sheppard...

That was when the cell phone in his pocket began to ring, and Rodney McKay had a sudden and very bad feeling that things were about to go very wrong.

~~~

“What do you mean Cheyenne Mountain is under quarantine?!” Rodney shouted into his cell phone for at least the twentieth time in the last half hour. They were back at Jeannie’s house now. Rodney yelling into his phone had been drawing stares in the park until Sheppard and Jeannie had taken it from him and dragged him back here.

Jeannie had already told them they could stay the additional two weeks until the quarantine was lifted.

Rodney was so screwed.

“Put Bill Lee on the phone,” Rodney demanded, having gotten nowhere with Sergeant Harriman. Harriman just kept insisting that a team had inadvertently brought back something contagious, going on and on about people breaking out in purple spots and itching in some place that was very inconvenient.

“Hey, Rodney, be glad you’re still--” Bill said.

“What did you do?” Rodney asked, cutting him off--he was so screwed. He and Sheppard could not stay here for two weeks until the quarantine was lifted. They couldn’t stay here even one more day. If Sheppard found out--

“What do you mean, ‘what did I do?’” Bill asked over the cell phone.

“Did you trigger some sort of germ warfare device?”

It took him almost fifteen minutes to vent his spleen at Bill, pacing back and forth in Jeannie’s living room, yelling into the phone. Kaleb had left immediately to take Madison back to the park, apparently believing that Rodney’s yelling was not fit for her to hear. Jeannie had disappeared into the kitchen. Sheppard had seated himself on the sofa next to where Aunt Marge had taken up residence to watch Rodney pace--Rodney was so screwed. He had to get the two of them out of here before Jeannie could say the wrong thing. They could go somewhere else to wait out the quarantine.

Purple spots and inconvenient itching.

How the hell could--

He had ended the call and closed his cell phone before he realized that he and Aunt Marge were alone in the room.

She stared at him disapprovingly. “Really, Meredith, the McKay men all have blood pressure problems, and you--” she began, looking more like a stout, 6'2" version of Margaret Thatcher in that instant than Rodney could ever remember before in his life, but he couldn’t even listen to her.

“Oh--no--” he breathed, and almost fell over his own feet in his hurry to make it to the kitchen where he knew Jeannie had gone. Surely Sheppard hadn’t--and there hadn’t been time--

Sheppard’s eyebrows looked in danger of disappearing into his hairline before Rodney even stumbled into the room. He turned to stare at Rodney. His mouth opened, and closed again.

Jeannie turned away from Sheppard, going to the refrigerator. Rodney watched her, knowing beyond doubt that she had done exactly what he had asked her not to do--oh, he was so screwed. He was so completely and totally and irrevocably screwed.

Sheppard cleared his throat, catching Jeannie’s eye and drawing Rodney’s attention. “I was just going to take a shower,” he said.

His expression had returned to normal, giving Rodney one brief, fleeting, desperate moment to hope maybe he had been wrong, that Jeannie hadn’t--

Then Sheppard smacked Rodney on the ass with his open palm as he walked by, growling, “Care to join me?” in an undertone meant only for Rodney to hear just before he left the room.

“I am so screwed,” Rodney wheezed, knowing he was going to die as soon as John Sheppard got him alone.

~~~

Rodney thought about disappearing, about getting in the rental car and driving until he couldn’t drive anymore, then starting a new life. He could change his name, start over--that sounded like a plan. All he needed was his wallet and the car keys, both of which were on the dresser in the guestroom he and Sheppard had been sharing. He would just wait until Sheppard was in the shower, and he would sneak in and--

But he couldn’t find the keys or wallet either one. Rodney tossed the place quickly and as quietly as possible, making sure to keep an eye on the bathroom door that Sheppard had left ajar. He could hear the shower running, and he knew Sheppard always took his time--

“Looking for these, McKay?” came Sheppard’s voice as Rodney yanked up a pillow to look beneath it.

Rodney turned quickly, almost landing on his ass as he caught his foot in the edge of the bedspread he had dragged into the floor in the midst of his search--his jaw dropped. Sheppard was standing in the now-open bathroom doorway, stark naked, a towel in one hand, and Rodney’s wallet and the keys to the rental car in the other. He had obviously been in the shower. His hair was wet. Moisture glinted on his skin and stood in droplets on the hair on his body. Rodney’s eyes drank him in, moving from the hairy chest to the slim hips to the thick cock sprouting from its nest of dark curls.

Rodney swallowed hard and yanked his eyes back up to Sheppard’s. Sheppard stared at him, one eyebrow lifting as if he knew exactly what Rodney had been thinking.

“Breathe, McKay, before you pass out,” Sheppard said at last in a low drawl.

Rodney took a deep breath, realizing he damned well hadn’t breathed since he had gotten the first sight of wet, naked Sheppard--then he fled, going out the guestroom, through the house, and out the front door without saying a word. If he had to disappear on foot, he would do it. Walking never hurt anybody. Walking--

He made it as far as the opposite end of the park before he realized he was a thirty-eight-year-old man who was running away from home--not Jeannie’s house, but Atlantis and the life he had built for himself there.

He sat down on a bench and watched the last stragglers packing up to leave the park as evening set in, remembering the only other time in his life that he had ever run away. He had been eight years old then, and it had been the day they had brought his new sister home from the hospital. Rodney had spent six hours in the pouring rain hidden in the hydrangea bushes in Mrs. Fiester’s back yard, expecting to hear his father’s worried voice at any time, his mother frantically calling his name like mothers did on television when their kids were lost.

But no one had come looking for him. No one had even realized he was gone.

He had finally gone home hours after dark, only to have his father lecture him for dripping water on the floor. His mother had been secreted away with the tiny, screaming thing that Jeannie had been back then, and Rodney hadn’t even seen her until the next day--that’s what families were to him, or it had been until he had made a family for himself from Sheppard and the others on Atlantis.

But all that was over now, now that Sheppard knew the lie he had told. Rodney really hadn’t come so far. There were no hydrangea bushes this time, no pouring rain, but no one would come looking for him this time any more than they had back then. No one would care that he had gone, not Sheppard, not Jeannie, not--

That’s when the paper airplane flew out of the dusk and hit him in the face.

Rodney snatched it up from his lap where it fell and looked around for the kid who had thrown it, ready to give someone a reaming-out--this really had not been his day.

But he was alone.

A couple was walking at a distance, arm-in-arm in the growing darkness, but no one else was within sight. Rodney looked down at the airplane. It was made from one of the yellow bake sale fliers someone had been handing out in the park earlier in the day. Maybe--

The second one hit him in his right ear then rebounded onto the grass. Rodney snatched it up and got to his feet, looking around, knowing immediately that it had to be Sheppard. Who else would be so immature--well, besides Rodney’s little sister, who could never throw that well.

“Where are you?” Rodney demanded, scanning the area for any sign of life.

There was no answer.

“Sheppard!?”

Still no answer.

Rodney crumpled the airplanes up and threw them into a nearby trashcan, then started out of the park, headed away from Jeannie’s house.

He caught the next paper airplane before it could hit him square in the face.

This was too much. So he had told a lie--so what? And he’d gotten caught. Was that any reason to subject him to juvenile practical jokes now? He’d already had to live with the torture of his sister’s idea of humor for days. This was too much like being back in school again.

Rodney wheeled around and started back toward Jeannie’s place. Somehow Sheppard made it there ahead of him. Rodney found him sitting on the front steps alongside Madison. He was dressed in blue jeans and a dark blue, button-up shirt beneath a black jacket. His hair was artfully tousled, although it looked as if were still wet on the ends even in the spare light from the porch fixture. He had a single butter-yellow paper airplane in his hands.

“I hate you, you know that?” Rodney said, staring at him.

“Yeah, I know you do,” Sheppard said with a smirk, and threw the airplane so that it rebounded off the center of Rodney’s chest this time.

~~~

Rodney did everything he could that night to avoid going to the guestroom he had been sharing with Sheppard.

He changed the channel when the news went off and Aunt Marge took herself off to her own guestroom, just as Jeannie and Kaleb rose to check on Madison before they retired to bed.

Sheppard caught Rodney’s eye as he got to his own feet.

“I’m not sleepy,” Rodney told him as he fidgeted with the remote. He had no desire to hear what he knew Sheppard was going to say to him when he could finally get him alone, something that Rodney was certain would start with: “What the fuck were you thinking...” and end something along the line of: “You’re no longer on the team.”

Rodney stared unseeingly at the television for the next hour, his mind going over and over again how things could go so horribly wrong. Why the hell had he lied? If he had just kept his mouth shut...

He fell asleep to dream Sheppard and Sam Carter were asking him to leave Atlantis, and had reached the point of being unceremoniously sent through the gate in the custody of his Aunt Marge and his niece Madison when Jeannie shook him awake to tell him to go to bed.

Rodney made his way to the guestroom to find Sheppard sound asleep, sprawled on his back almost in the middle of the bed. Rodney grabbed his suitcase and took it into the bathroom to get out the sleep clothes he had packed earlier in the day before they’d learned the SGC was under quarantine. He changed and got ready for bed as quietly as possible.

Sheppard had not moved at all while he had been in the bathroom. Rodney lifted the sheet and sat down on the side of the mattress, then carefully laid down on the very edge of the bed with his back toward the other man, drawing the sheet up over himself. He closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. Sharing this bed with Sheppard over the last five nights had been torture enough, and now--

Rodney’s eyes flew open as Sheppard rolled over against his back and hooked one arm and leg over him. He could feel Sheppard’s breath tickling his ear, his crotch snugged up to Rodney’s ass, and Rodney could feel himself grow hard in an instant. He didn’t dare to breathe, absolutely certain Sheppard had to be asleep even as Sheppard’s weight settled even more certainly against him--oh, this was too much. This was--

His first inkling that Sheppard was wide awake were the words, “You and I need to have a talk, McKay,” said right against his ear.

Rodney drew in his breath quickly, “I thought you were asleep.” He moved to try to maneuver out from under Sheppard and sit up, but Sheppard’s arm and leg tightened even more securely over him.

“You wouldn’t have come to bed otherwise,” Sheppard said quietly.

Which was the truth.

“So I understand you and I have been fucking like rabbits for months--”

“I never said that!” Rodney said loudly, shocked beyond belief. He struggled to try to get up, but Sheppard wouldn’t release him, hissing for him to be quiet even as he settled his weight even more solidly against Rodney’s back, pressing him further onto his chest on the mattress to keep him still.

“Shhhh--before you wake up everybody,” Sheppard whispered. “And be still.”

Rodney ceased his struggles. “I didn’t say that! I didn’t!” he said at a whisper himself this time, trying, and failing, to look over his shoulder at Sheppard.

“Then what did you say?”

Rodney thought for a moment about trying to lie his way out of it.

“McKay--” Sheppard growled out in a warning voice as if he had read his mind.

“I said--that we’re involved.”

“Involved?”

“Involved--involved involved--you know,” Rodney snapped out, still at a whisper.

“Having sex.”

“Yes! What else do you think ‘involved’ means? Now, will you let me up?”

“No.”

Rodney sighed--at least he would be able to remember what this felt like later, Sheppard’s weight on him keeping him pinned to the mattress. Not that it would do him any good. He was pretty sure that the things Sheppard was going to say to him before this was over would ruin any jerk-off value to the memory later.

“Why?” Sheppard asked now--and Rodney’s erection had not subsided in the slightest. If anything it had become only more insistent just from the heat of Sheppard’s breath in his ear and Sheppard’s continuing weight on him.

“Why what?”

“Why did you tell your sister we’re having sex?”

“Okay--you’ve got it--I’m sorry I insinuated that you’re gay. You couldn’t possibly be gay, could you, Kirk--happy now?” Rodney asked, wondering if that would get him out of this.

“Why did you do it, McKay?” Sheppard insisted.

Rodney sighed again. Why wasn’t anything ever simple in his life? “Because Jeannie said you wouldn’t have me,” he admitted.

“What?”

“Because she said you wouldn’t have me,” Rodney snapped out the words as quickly as possible. “She said that whether you’re gay, straight, or bi, you could have anyone you wanted and you wouldn’t want me, not even if we were the last two people on Earth.”

Sheppard’s weight suddenly left his back, no longer pinning him to the mattress.

“She said that to you?” Sheppard asked. The bedside light came on on Sheppard’s side of the bed.

Rodney sat up and turned to look at him. Sheppard was sitting now at the far side of the mattress, staring at him. Rodney scrubbed his fingers back through his hair, even though he knew that made it stick up in all directions. “Yeah,” he said, then dragged his pillow down to hold it in his lap, thinking that the pronounced erection now more than evident in the front of his sleep pants wouldn’t help in this conversation at all. His damned hardon seemed determined to not go away, no matter how embarrassed he was at the moment.

What Sheppard said next surprised the hell out of him. “Jeannie doesn’t like me very much, does she?”

“She likes you more than she likes me.” And wasn’t that a hell of an admission.

“That’s not true,” Sheppard said, and sighed. After a moment he moved to stretch out on his back on his side of the bed, placing one hand between his head and the light-blue pillow case, the other on his chest just above where his panda tee-shirt had ridden up high to display a good bit of skin. Rodney’s eyes fixed on the line of dark hair that began at Sheppard’s navel and disappeared beneath the waistband of his black sleep pants for an instant before he jerked his eyes back up to Sheppard’s face, Rodney holding the pillow now even more securely in his lap as his mind went to the image of wet, naked Sheppard he had seen earlier in the day.

“What?” he said, trying to remember what Sheppard had said.

“She was afraid you’d get hurt. She wanted to make sure I understood--” his words halted.

“Understood what?”

Sheppard stared at him for a moment. “Nothing,” was all he said.

“She was afraid I’d get hurt,” Rodney repeated after a moment, surprised. Then he shook his head, realizing. “She assumed you were just using me for sex. That that was all you’d want from--”

“You’re my best friend, McKay. She doesn’t have a very high opinion of me to think I’d just use you for sex.”

He stared at Sheppard a moment. “You’re taking this better than I thought you would,” Rodney said. He tilted his head to one side, studying Sheppard intently. “Or are you just waiting until we get back to Atlantis so you can have Ronon kill me so he can dispose of the body?”

Sheppard laughed, which surprised Rodney only further. “Ronon thinks we’ve been having sex ever since he’s known us.”

“What?!” Rodney asked, startled.

“He says you must be pretty good in bed or I would have let someone shoot you by now. I finally quit trying to convince him we’re not going at it when he said something about going after you for himself if you and I weren’t together--apparently soldiers pairing off on Sateda was pretty normal--” then Sheppard’s eyebrows rose, a bit of a smirk touching the corner of his lips. “Or maybe you’d rather I have stayed out of it if you and Ronon might have--”

“No!” Rodney said, startled.

“Oh, come on, McKay. You’re into guys. You can’t tell me you haven’t had a fantasy or two where Ronon’s concerned, a big, good-looking guy like that.”

Rodney glared at him.

“Or are you just into me?” Sheppard said with an outright smirk at him.

“You’re going to be absolutely insufferable now, aren’t you?” Rodney asked. “‘Kirk’ Sheppard--charmer of men and women both throughout two galaxies.” Sheppard was never going to let him live this down.

“Charmer of Dr. Meredith Rodney McKay, anyway,” Sheppard said, the smirk even more pronounced.

Rodney gave him a sour look.

Sheppard’s face became serious after a moment. He stared at Rodney. “So, is the rest of what your sister told me true?”

“Is what true?” Rodney asked, wondering what the hell else Jeannie could have said. He was going to have to have a long talk with his little sister. She had as good as promised him--

“She said you’re in love with me.”

“I--” Oh, God, she hadn’t. What the hell could he say to that? He couldn’t admit--oh, he was going to kill Jeannie with his bare hands. He--

“Well?”

“Well, what?’

“Rodney!” sounding thoroughly exasperated now. Sheppard sat up.

Rodney just stared at him.

“Is it true?” Sheppard insisted.

“So you think every person--” Rodney really had no idea what he had been about to say. He shoved the pillow from his lap and got up from the bed to start across the room--but Sheppard was right behind him, catching him and turning him to press him back against the door--not holding him there, not really, but crowding him against it, and Rodney realized suddenly that Sheppard was hard, very hard, pressing a pronounced bulge in the front of his own sleep pants against Rodney.

Sheppard stared at him, standing so very close. “Is it true?” Sheppard asked again. He reached to flick on the nearby switch to the overhead light fixture, flooding the room with light as if he had to see Rodney’s expression. His eyes moved over Rodney’s face.

And Rodney couldn’t lie like this, not with Sheppard staring at him, not with that erection pressed against him.

“Yes,” he said at last.

He thought Sheppard would move away--but he didn’t; he continued to stand there, so close, the heat of his body holding Rodney.

Rodney drank him in, telling himself this couldn’t be what it felt like. It couldn’t be--then Sheppard leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips to Rodney’s.

For a moment Rodney caught his breath, not believing this was happening. Not believing--

Then he took matters into his own hands, sliding his fingers into Sheppard’s hair, drawing Sheppard closer, deepening the kiss, receiving what sounded like a pleased chuckle from deep in Sheppard’s chest even with the man’s mouth against his--as many times as Rodney had dreamed about this, fantasized about it, his fantasies had never been this good, the heat of Sheppard against him, the taste and feel of him, Sheppard’s tongue sliding over his, his hands suddenly under Rodney’s t-shirt, pleasurable friction as Sheppard instinctively moved his hips and ground his erection into Rodney’s through the layers of fabric between them.

“Bed--” Sheppard said when Rodney at last let him end the kiss. He drew Rodney away from the wall and moved them in that direction even as his lips caught Rodney’s again.

Rodney broke the kiss this time. “We can’t--”

“Yes, we can--”

“We’re in my sister’s house--” Rodney tried, his words muffled for a moment as his t-shirt was pulled up over his head and then tossed aside. Sheppard’s thumbs immediately brushed over his nipples, sending a shiver of pleasure through him.

“We can be quiet--” Sheppard tried.

“We can’t be that quiet-- **I** can’t--” Rodney quickly amended when Sheppard opened his mouth to try again.

He couldn’t do this, not in Jeannie’s house, not with his Aunt Marge right next door, and his five-year-old niece and little sister and brother-in-law sleeping down the hall.

And wasn’t this just his fucked-up luck--Sheppard actually wanted him, and they couldn’t--

“Shower--” Sheppard suggested, his hair more tousled now than usual, looking so gorgeous and so unbelievably hot that Rodney wanted to crawl right inside his skin with him. “Water running and another door closed between us and the rest of the house. No one will hear--”

Rodney opened his mouth to protest again.

“Please, Rodney,” Sheppard said--and the very fact that he’d said please, that he wanted it that bad, had Rodney ready to agree to just about anything.

They made it into the bathroom and shut the door, but before Rodney could do anything Sheppard pushed him back against the wall alongside the shower stall, dropped to his knees, and pulled Rodney’s sleep pants down below his hips so that his cock sprang out. Rodney opened his mouth to protest--this wasn’t what he’d agreed to do; someone would hear them--then he snapped his lips quickly shut to stifle a moan as Sheppard’s mouth closed over the head of his cock. Rodney whimpered, instinctively lacing the fingers of both hands through Sheppard’s hair as Sheppard took him all the way in--all the way--and Rodney freed one suddenly shaking hand to reach out and blindly fumble for the nearby shower faucet to turn the water on full-blast, knowing he’d never be able to stay quiet for long.

He’d only had a blow job once before in his life, and it had been nothing like this--nothing like this. Sheppard knew what to do, until Rodney’s knees were shaking and his breath was coming in gasps, until he was having trouble even staying on his feet. He was being soaked by spray from the shower, but he didn’t care--and when the pleasure got to be almost too much, when he was afraid he would come no matter how hard he tried to hold back, Sheppard seemed to know. He took Rodney’s cock from his mouth and kissed the now-exposed head where the foreskin had pulled back, then got to his feet to bring his lips to Rodney’s, his tongue diving deep, tasting of Rodney’s pre-come.

Rodney had never liked being naked, not even when he was alone, but all he wanted now was to feel skin, to have Sheppard naked against him. They got out of their clothes, slipping on the tile floor now wet from the shower spray, Sheppard grabbing Rodney to keep him on his feet, then got into the shower and closed the stall door behind them. Sheppard’s hands slid over Rodney as Rodney pressed him to the tiled wall this time, Rodney’s mouth locked to Sheppard’s, his hand closing around Sheppard’s thick cock, then Sheppard was stroking him as well and the pleasure was almost too much. Rodney moaned into the mouth covering his, biting at Sheppard’s lower lip as a kiss ended. It was so good, so good, and the pleasure built until Rodney could take it no longer, and his hips stuttered forward, thrusting into Sheppard’s hand, come coating Sheppard’s fist and shooting onto his belly, and Sheppard was coming only a moment later, calling out his name--

They leaned against each other, both trying to stay on their feet, breathing heavily, hands still stroking--gently now--as both their heart rates slowly returned to normal. Sheppard’s free hand was caressing Rodney’s ass, his fingers sliding between Rodney’s asscheeks, seeking the puckered opening there, stroking lightly over it--and Rodney’s hips jerked with surprise.

“You’ve never been fucked?” Sheppard asked quietly, jumping to the correct conclusion, rubbing his nose alongside Rodney’s briefly. His hand had returned to simply caressing Rodney’s ass again.

“No, I--” but his words fell silent.

“I haven’t either; I’ve only topped. I’ve never known anyone I would want to let fuck me.”

“Oh,” Rodney said, staring up at him, unable to stop the feeling of disappointment that came to him. He’d always hoped--

Then Sheppard smiled, “Until now, that is--”

~~~

Rodney was unable to stop smiling the next afternoon as he and Jeannie entered the park following behind Sheppard, Madison, and Kaleb, who had already headed off to play Frisbee. Jeannie had been unusually quiet all day. She hadn’t said a word in response to Rodney having told her that he and Sheppard were leaving that afternoon to spend the next two weeks at Niagara Falls--of all the stupid, sappy, ridiculous places to spend a vacation, Rodney thought, although Sheppard had insisted after Rodney had admitted it was one of the few places he had never been.

He glanced over at Jeannie, now. It suddenly occurred to him that he honestly couldn’t remember her having said a single word to him all day that she could avoid saying. She heaved a sigh when she caught his eyes on her.

“Are you okay?” Rodney asked.

“What do you think, Mer?”

He cringed. He had been afraid it would come to this before he and Sheppard could leave. He knew what a terrible liar he was--everyone knew what a terrible liar he was. He didn’t know why he had thought it would be any different this time.

“So you--ah--know I was lying yesterday about me and Sheppard--I’m sorry, okay. I’m a terrible liar, you know, but you kind of pushed me into it, saying Sheppard wouldn’t have me, and whatnot,” he said, waving a hand before himself.

“Oh, cut it out, Mer,” she said, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“Cut what out?” he asked.

“You know you can’t lie, so just stop it.”

“I was just--”

“Aunt Marge heard you, you know, you and John having sex,” she said at a harsh whisper, grabbing his arm and halting their progress, turning to stare up at him. “She told me about it this morning--in detail, might I add,” she bit out, rising up onto the balls of her feet to stress the words. She was not happy. “Then I had to listen to her for three hours--three hours, Mer!--reminiscing about her sex life with Uncle Hal, while you two slept late and she waxed her upper lip in my kitchen! You owe me one for this! You owe me big time!”

Oh, God--Rodney would never be able to look Aunt Marge in the face again.

But Jeannie wasn’t finished with him. “And now you’re trying to tell me you were lying yesterday when you said you and John were together--when Aunt Marge said she heard John calling out your name last night when he came--and this morning, three times!--which reminded her of how Uncle Hal--”

“But--I was lying yesterday. Last night was the first time--” Rodney tried.

“‘Last night was the first time,’” she parroted back to him. “A little convenient, isn’t it?”

“But it was! You told him I was in love with him--he felt the same about me and--”

“Oh, come on!” she said, starting to walk again.

Rodney hurried to catch up with her. “That’s what happened!” he bit out at a whisper.

“Come on, Mer--John Sheppard was pining away after you? Thinking you could never feel the same for him? Unrequited love and all that? And he just jumped on the chance to jump on you when he found out you wanted him as well--is that it?”

“Well, yes, something like that,” Rodney admitted.

“You think that’s believable?--he’s, well--him--and you’re--”

“Why is it I always get insulted in these conversations?” Rodney demanded, getting angry now.

“Okay, I tell you what,” she said, stopping and turning to look up at him. “Why don’t you wait right here,” she said, pointing a finger down to the ground between them, “and think about your story and get straight exactly when it is that you and John Sheppard started your relationship, and I’ll get back to you--okay?” she asked, then turned and walked off, leaving him standing there.

Rodney watched her go, shaking his head in disbelief--so he had lied, and she had believed him, and now he had told the truth, and she was certain he had lied. And what the hell did it matter to her, anyway, when he and Sheppard had gotten together?

It was a few minutes before he realized she had effectively left him standing here in ‘time out’ to consider his sins, as he’d seen her do with Madison over the last several days.

He shook his head again and went to sit down on a bench where Sheppard found him a few minutes later.

“Hey,” John said, his face breaking into that grin Rodney loved so much, his hazel eyes moving over Rodney’s face.

“My sister’s insane,” Rodney said, with no preamble.

“I think that runs in your family,” John said, moving to sit down beside him.

“What is this? Did I miss the ‘Insult Rodney McKay Week’ memo, or something?” Rodney asked, looking over at him.

“Well, you’re pretty crazy about me, aren’t you?” John said, nudging him with his shoulder.

“That I am.” Rodney sighed. “Aunt Marge heard us having sex, by the way.”

John turned a horrified look on him, his eyebrows scrunching up.

“She told Jeannie about it. It reminded her of her own sex life.”

The horrified look increased.

“Don’t ask.”

“Believe me, I won’t,” Sheppard said.

“Can one divorce one’s family?” Rodney mused after a moment. “Legally, I mean?”

“Better not. They’ve adopted me.”

“No, that would be incest; you’ll have to marry into it instead,” he said, without thinking.

He turned a horrified look of his own on Sheppard.

“I didn’t mean--”

Sheppard burst out laughing, “Relax, Rodney--breathe,” he said, nudging Rodney’s shoulder again. “Why don’t we try the honeymoon first--Niagara Falls,” Sheppard reminded him, grinning. “I’ll bring the lube--”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Feedback always welcome.**
> 
>  **Beta:** Many thanks to LdyAnne for the beta. It is very much appreciated. Any errors remaining are mine alone.
> 
>  **Disclaimers:** This story is for entertainment purposes only. Atlantis is the property of others.


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